"Because I said so."

     I think that was one of my dad's favorite sayings.  I know it was the one I hated the most.  It got to the point where I swore an oath to myself, never to use that phrase with my children.  That lasted an entire two years after Tyffany was born.

     I remember it like it was fairly recent, I don't think I can ever forget it, as it stands as the day I realized that children can really be annoying, particularly when they get to the, "Why?" stage.  After answering a number of "Why?" questions, that phrase popped out.  The weirdest thing was, it was my dad's voice, coming out of my mouth...  After a few moments of stunned silence, I started to laugh...

     I am one who believes that everyone can be an example, as even a bad example is still an example.  There was much that I wanted to change when I started my own family.  For one, my family was never really affectionate.  Mom and Dad would simply say, "Good night."  No "Love you's," or "Sweet dreams," just Good night.  I don't ever remember being "tucked in," or getting read bedtime stories, just a "Good night," after which I was expected to go to sleep.  I'm not calling my parents "bad examples," but their parenting could have been better, so the answer to "What would Dad do?" was often the opposite of what I would do.

     For one thing, my family never hugged each other.  Growing up in a non-demonstrative home, you don't realize how important it is to be hugged.  After Tyffany was born, it was "hugs and kisses" at bedtime, when I came home from work, as well as any number of other occasions.  I told my kids, every day, that I loved them, and was proud of them.  My dad waited until I was 50 before he told me he was proud of me.  I spent my entire life trying to make my dad proud of me, and would have killed to hear those words.  When he finally got around to it, it didn't mean as much to me as it would have when I was young.  By the time he said it, I had retired from the Navy, gone to college and got my Bachelor's, and was teaching.  Hell, I was pretty proud of myself, and really didn't need validation from anyone.

     I never did get any respect from my sisters, who felt it their business to tell me how to raise my family, despite the fact that one sister refused to see that one of her kids had learning disabilities and needed help, and the other was a meth-head.  I've been vindicated, however, as my kids are all serving in positions that help people, and animals.  I am extremely proud of my children, and the people they've become, even if one hasn't talked to me in four years, and one has rejected my beliefs.  Other than not being able to see my two granddaughters, there are no regrets.  We taught them to stand up for themselves, and they have.  It doesn't mean I've stopped loving them, or praying for them.  It also doesn't mean that I plan to make any changes to accommodate them.  Mary and I get along just fine, since I'm married to her, and have completed my obligations to my kids, I am pretty happy with my life.  Happy, not complacent...

     I know there are things in my life that need work... I also know that, at the present time, I lack the knowledge to make these changes, but I trust that that knowledge will be made available to me in the future.  We either keep growing, or we start dying, and at 65, I'm not quite ready to go.  I'm not ready to claim omniscience quite yet, either.

     In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Nephi tells us that, "... man is that he might have joy."  A latter-day prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley tells us that there is great joy in obeying the commandments of God, doing His will, and honoring the covenants we make with him.  That we should, "Be happy.  Don't get discouraged, [because] [t]hings will work out."