Do Something

So there I was, feeling sorry for myself, hating life because I'm now 50 days overdue for an ESI, and have 40 more days until I get to consult with an MD, to get the proceedure ordered and scheduled. Believe me, I have a pretty high pain tolerance level, but after such a long time, I'm begining to wear down. On days, like today, when I have very little to do, it's easy for me to get into a funk, climb on the pity-pot, moan "poor me's," and wallow in my depression. My tendency to do that is well know, and equally well documented. I used to take medication, but I don't anymore.
I was in my car, sitting in a park, listening to the Eagles Long Road Out of Eden CD, and reading the morning paper. It's all a part of a morning routine, except I'm usually listening to The Bob and Tom Show. The CD gets down to the tenth track, and I'm listening to a song, and all of a sudden, I'm listening to exactly what is going through my head. Although it's a song about a guy who has just lost a woman, the lyrics hit me.

"And when I feel like giving up,
And I'm ready to walk away,
In the stillness I can hear a voice inside me say,
'Do Something.'
It's too late for saving face,
Don't just stand there taking up space,
Why don't you Do Something.
It's not over,
No it's never too late."

I'm suddenly reminded of an inspirational figure, the great Jimmy Valvano, "Jimmy V." who said, "Never give up. Don't ever give up." shortly before his death from cancer. I think of all of the times that people told me "You can't...," and how much that would piss me off. I've always told people that the fastest way to get something done is to tell me I can't do it, and yet I'm getting myself all down because I'm telling myself I can't do this, or I can't do that, because of my back problems.

"I pick up the morning paper,
And all the news is bad.
How did we get on this road we're traveling?
And when I feel like giving up,
And there's no where left to go,
That's the time I dig down deep,
To the only thing I know,
Do Something."

I have to go back, and listen to the song again, to make sure I'm not making this up in my head, and think, "No [explicative]. This is pretty cool."

"Do something.
Don't leave it up to someone else.
Don't feel sorry for yourself.
Why don't you do something?
Run away?
You can't run away.
On your honor,
For your God,
You'll sleep better knowing you tried,
To do something.
It's too easy not to care,
But you're not ready for the rocking chair.
Get up, and do something.
Don't wait too long,
Even if it's wrong,
You've got to do something.
It's not over.
No, it's never too late."
Bang, zoom, right through the heart. I get it. Quityerbitchen, get off your ass and, well, Do Something. Hmm. Quite a concept. Maybe I should try it, whatchathink?